Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
