Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
