my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
