I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
