I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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