Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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