We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
