I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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