Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
