Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
