Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Help. Why am I so naked?
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