What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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