so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I could make wine with my vomit
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The Olympian is in my bed
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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