you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is wine microwaveable?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
