I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize