Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
