he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
