Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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