Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
