So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
