you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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