11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Non-Jews are for practice
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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