girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
