Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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