Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize