Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
