i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
