So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
