so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
