i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize