do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
