please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
