Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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