Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
