yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
