He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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