I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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