The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
