i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
