did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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