Duck Duck Cougar?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
