Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize