After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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