I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I just put wine in my tea
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
