I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
