you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
