My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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