Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
