she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
