I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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