At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
