he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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