I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
