brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
