arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
