my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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