NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
