it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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