I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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