Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i will never coherently bang her
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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