If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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