He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
