can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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