You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
from now on my penis is your penis
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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