I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
