I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just high enough for therapy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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