I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
