Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Randomize
